i don't know what am i doing now.
my mind is in a semi blank state.
i feel so depressed again.
i feel like my heart is sinking
today was really bad.
i felt pissed with everybody.
even my ever so kindly grandma.
i felt that everyone hated me too.
im incorrigible for thinking about things.
today felt so much worse than yesterday night when i reached home.
everything seems like its covered in a layer of hate thats aiming towards me.
im so tired of feeling like that.
can someone brainwash me?
as in literally wash my brain.hahaha.
im just so tired.
people may not understand why i feel like that.
perphaps you guys feel irritated by me.
but i do not want to be like this too.
i just want someone:
- who will have idle chats with me knowing that im not okay even though i say im just bored.
- who knows when my mood changed.
- who knows im super duper sensitive to things that don't matter at all.
- who is willing to spend time to get me to talk when i clam up.
- who will just talk to me and share their thoughts
- who is willing to listen to me grumble and grouse.
- who understands me
- and who accepts me for who i am.
i don't thinki will ever find such a person.i gave up trying.
i just want someone who really cares.