we all go through different phases in life.how we want to make out of it is up to us isn't it?i went through anger,hatred,bewilderment and finally understanding.i often bashed myself up,thinking why do these things happen?or often,why a repetition?a problem with me?yes?no?what exactly is wrong?the reasons,the explanations,the solutions i try to give myself..often i wondered.what would happen if i did this instead?what if i chose to deal with this matter with anger and hatred?and not with patience?how would all of this end?i guess whenever something happens.we all have a fear in us,on losing something.be it friends or items.hence our reactions?
however,after all the hoo-ha i create in my own mental state.slowly i realize that the healing process is indeed through time.the spate of events that happened throughout.the release of frustrations,tears and wails.the confessions.struggles and finally.peace within my own mind.i was finally settled down with the understanding that we cant actually control human relations and connections.it's surprising how many people do not actually realize that.it seemed like a fact that everyone know.but it seems that i took a little longer than everyone.
and in the end.we all gain an extra bit of sensitivity towards everything.
it's very mentally exhausting.and depressing.and the feeling totally sucks.i remember the days when i really felt that i had no more meaning to carry on in life.it sounds ridiculous to me now.
i'm glad i pulled through.